Ladies, do you suffer from embarrassment in the boudoir? Does your navel intimidate potential soulmates by winking at them like a doll’s eye, like the eye of a whale, like the sleepy cat?
Do guys consistently compare your buttocks to fresh-baked loaves, or your breasts to dairy products or various kinds?
Despite your best efforts, does your orchid have the breath of moss-beds, of the deep seas, of the abyss?
Well don’t despair, PURPLEGO is here to save the day! With one application of PURPLEGO daily, you too can have legs like legs, hair like hair, a face that is not in any way comparable to a giant pockmarked satellite, and breasts that are merely breasts and not citrus, soapstone, clouds, bits of giant aliens, honeycombs, wet windows, cheese, apples, glass, shells, poisonous metals, monuments, hills, sand, or edible fungus. Ladies, PURPLEGO is here for you.
(This is not fanfiction. This actually got published.)
Bonus lols can be located here, where someone has collaged the wonders of Princess Bronwyn.
